IT'S BEEN STOLEN..... in search of my missing JOY

Just wow.... For those of you close to me, you know it has been a tough few weeks. I have rarely posted things, responded or other wise engaged with the outside world unless forced. I tend to withdraw into myself during these times. It gives me time to reflect and regroup, well and to be honest about it, not drag anyone else into my cesspool of doom. I detest winter with a passion. I detest getting up in the dark and coming home from work in the dark. As I get older the cold affects me more. When I just physically can't be outside with the ponies except to care for their needs I get VERY cranky. They are my outlet, my sanity. Did I mention the rain, the cold miserable rain and the mud it creates.... Well I detest that too.
I haven't been able to even get into the Spirit of Christmas in which it was intended. I had so looked  forward to this year. We have found a Church we love and do tons of Christmas activities, however I just couldn't be around anybody except a select few. Even those people, who kind of have to love me didn't want to be around me. There was a very short list of people I even wanted to talk to, which is unusual for me.
I have done quite a bit of praying, more so than usual over the last few weeks, yesterday was my turning point. God and I had a very candid conversation in the car yesterday. (We have quite a few of those actually). I felt the need to tell him as if he didn't already know, that I was at my breaking point. I needed his light, I had been in the dark long enough.  My flesh is weak and my mind was very weary so very weary. I know he had a plan and I am sure that this was all part of it, but I was having a hard time bringing myself out of this funk. I was ready to crawl under the covers and not come out until spring. ( I am convinced I was supposed to be born a bear). 

After my very candid conversation ( I did all the talking). I get a text. "Called you. Are you Ok?" my daily brother call. So I called him back and unloaded my tale of loathing; the weather, cold, and yes even the lack of Christmas Spirit.  In typical brotherly fashion his response was, "If I can hold on for better days so can you. Don't let the devil win don't let him steal your joy. That is my peptalk for today, now I am off to pressure wash. Love you bye."  Well DAMN when you put it like that and well.....if you can go pressure wash in 40 degree weather after 3 solid days of rain and be happy, I guess I could try a little harder, hold on a little longer. After that 3 minute conversation the day was a little brighter. Later that evening as we usually do Genna and I went to Mom's to setup and decorate the tree. It ended up Don and both of my brothers were there. We all sat in the den and talked as a family, listened to Christmas Music, while Genna put the finishing touches on the Christmas tree. As I drove home last night a sense of peace washed over me. It was all going to be just fine stress and all. My JOY had not been stolen after all just misplaced for a bit. 

This morning I felt very different... I woke up with a renewed sense of Hope, Joy and Light. I stole a few minutes this morning just to thank God for my blessings and for listening to me yesterday. I wrote a few lines in my journal and when I checked my email this is the passage that was in my Daily Bible Reading. Just Wow.... how well did this hit home.

The Armor of God

 ¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. ¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. ¹⁹ Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, ²⁰ for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

 
Well didn't those verses just hit the nail on the head of how I have been feeling. I know that this season to shall pass .... figuratively and literally. The stress of winter will give light to the birth of spring, but I can't let it steal the JOY of now, this season. A season of the birth of Jesus, a season of giving, a season of fellowship, a season of the true meaning of this blessed month. LOVE, HOPE, JOY, and FAMILY. I hope all of you reading this have a very Merry CHRISTmas. If you don't celebrate Christmas that is fine too. I hope you enjoy whatever holiday this is for you. I hope you celebrate the true meaning of the season. LOVE to ALL