As this evening comes to a close the house is fairly quiet. Don and Jake have hidden themselves away in the Man Cave to play whatever newest game was gotten for Christmas. Genna has just finished bathing Indy, our dog, since she decided to roll in something very dead and wants to sleep inside tonight. Casey and Alan have headed back to Charlotte. Last night we had dinner with our surrogate barn family. Today we have visited 3 houses of family, covering full circle through 6 counties in our travels. I was discussing in the car while traveling today the Christmas of old. Where we would as kids travel to see both sets of grandparents Christmas eve until the wee hours and then spend Christmas at home with mom and dad. As we grew older and our Grandparents passed away... MAN how I miss them, our holiday ritual changed. Instead of traveling to the Grandparents we would have all of dad's family down for Christmas Eve and have the family day on Christmas day with Mom's family that afternoon.
Last year all of that changed..... with the growth of the extended family and the passing of three of my Uncles in the span of just a couple of years the extended family felt it was too much to all try and get together on Christmas Eve. I grumble about those days, the driving, the work , and all that went into making it come together, but the reality of it is.... It makes you realize just how precious family is. The joy it brings to my parents face to be able to spend one more holiday with all the kids and grand kids. The love I see in Margie to have her only son and granddaughter in the house together and have breakfast. The Love we all feel once we are there sitting enjoying the fellowship of our parents, siblings, cousins, nephews, aunts and uncles alike. To visit with people you haven't seen in some instances years. These are the true Blessings of the season.
I am extremely blessed for so many reasons. I have been able to spend Christmas with my healthy daughter, where as some parents have a child fighting for their lives. I was able to spend Christmas with both of my brothers, where some have lost a sibling this year. I have been able to spend Christmas with both of my parents this year, where some of my dearest friends have lost a parent this year. I have been able to spend Christmas with my boyfriend, Don, where some have lost a spouse or significant other. God has blessed me with my family and my friends. Our Christmases are filled with Love, Joy, and a fair share of good natured squabbling, well because we are a family of smart a$$es but we love each other fiercely.
I have my health and the health of my family, for that I am very blessed. Each day the good Lord gives me is a day to rejoice his name. I pray for those who are battling illnesses right now. I see so many that are battling for just another day of life. I pray that God heals them. I pray for their families, I can't imagine what that must be like and in all honesty I hope I never do.
It warms my heart to see so many of my friends be able to spend time with their families during this season. I am lucky in that sometimes my family gets together for no reason at all, randomly throughout the year. I enjoy seeing the Love this time of year brings out in people. As this year comes to a close it brings with it a new chapter and new beginnings for so many of my friends.
I close this CHRISTmas day with a prayer that all of my friends and family feel the LOVE and the JOY that I feel each time we are together. Whether it be CHRISTmas day, a morning breakfast in the middle of the month, a text message at random times of day, a phone call, a lunch midweek to catch up, time spent at the barn for some horse therapy, or on Sunday mornings and Thursday evenings gathered in Church.
God has BLESSED me beyond my wildest dreams. Not with fame and certainly not with fortune but with items that no money or fame can buy. The LOVE of so many people and the JOY they bring to my life.
I hope everyone has had a BLESSED CHRISTmas!!!
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Saturday, December 14, 2013
The Circle of the Seasons-- Life on the Jumping H
Sometimes ideas for my blogs hit me at the oddest times. I just never know when inspiration will strike. This strange burning need to cataloge my thoughts for others to read.. or not read, or maybe roll your eyes, "saying there she goes again." Really though it is for my own amusement. A creative outlet for that side of my brain that is rarely used.
Today was one of those moments. Sitting on my porch in my quilted zip up mechanic suit, complete with thermals, winter socks, muck boots, my -40 gloves (which by the way ARE NOT) and my cool new little kerrits winter knit hat that Don says makes my head look like an acorn, boom inspiration hits. There was a reprieve in the rain, I look over the farm and notice the silence. The silence of the horses quietly munching hay in their stalls, the dogs curled up in their igloo kennel bed inside the barn. The cats are curled up in the hay. This is one of those rare moments when there are no people around. No boarders, lesson students, or trail riders. This is wintertime on the Jumping H. The quiet season. It is the season when the cold comes. When only the hardiest of riders come to spend time with their horses. When riding means grooming through caked dirt of the fuzzy winter coat just to remember what color your horse really is. The slugging out through the wet and the cold, feeding morning and evening in the dark. Waiting for that break in the weather when the ground isn't frozen solid to get in a 30 minute ride before hands and feet go numb just because you have a day of sunshine. Wintertime when you have to drain every water hose EVERY time because in NC it can be 65 degrees at noon and 25 degrees by 5 o'clock. Frozen water hoses suck. Wintertime when those fair weather horse lovers don't come to visit. This is the time that I reflect. I admit this is not my favorite season, in fact it is my least favorite. I would even go so far as to say I detest winter. I don't like being cold, the cold rain, the ice, snow or the mud. Especially the mud. Mud gets caked in places on a horse that you never thought possible.
It is in this season, Wintertime, the toughest season of horse ownership that separates those whose HOBBY is owning a horse and those whose PASSION is owning a horse. I admit I grumble and complain about the cold and wet and muck, but the reality is, I CHOSE THIS LIFE. I LOVE IT, even in the wintertime. You know why, because I am living the life I have always wanted. The life I have always wanted for my children.
Wintertime gives way to spring. Spring means that the grass renews itself. The leaves on the trees begin budding. The mornings are still freezing but by noon you have shed your coat. You get just a little more ride time between spring rains. Those rains don't suck quite so bad because they are warm. It is thawing time. Now don't get me wrong there is still mud... OH IS THERE MUD!!!! Not only is there mud but there is shedding season. For those non-horse people that means you goto the barn, still in your muck boots but you start out clean, you then leave not only with a fine sheen of mud dust but also enough horse hair to weave a sweater or 10. You spend the majority of your time grooming, a little of your time riding, to spend more time grooming. The up side is you are outside and you are not freezing. You are at the barn and not freezing. You are getting to ride your horse and not freezing. You can water your horse and the hose not be frozen. You can ride your horse and the ground is not frozen, muddy but not frozen. You are only wearing two layers of clothes instead of ten. Spring is the light at the end of a long cold, wet when it is not frozen, dark tunnel. This time of year is hit and miss for those fair weather "Hobby" Horse people. In the Spring time of the year there is almost as much work involved in up-keeping horses as wintertime without freezing to death.
Late spring into summer though the hustle and bustle of the farm starts in full swing. People come out of the wood work like bears out of their caves after a long winter hibernation. I admit I am out at the barn every waking moment I can be outside. My domestic duties towards my house go out the window and are relegated to those rainy days when I can't or don't want to be outside. The horses have shed 90% of their winter coats giving way to shiny glossy dapples. They are getting slick and sassy. We ride, ride, and more riding. There is almost always someone at the barn. Hobby and Passionate horse people alike converge to be with our four legged partners in crime. All through the summer and fall people come and go on the Jumping H. Lesson students, trail riders, boarders and anyone else who gets the notion they might want to ride a horse. This is the "busy season," but that's ok because you have plenty of help putting up hay completing barn chores or whatever other project you can dream up. From morning to evening there is always something happening on the Jumping H. The only quiet time you will find this time of year is the early morning hours. When the sun is just peaking up over the horizon. These are the times when I grab my cup of coffee after morning feeding chores and just bask in the beauty of what God has blessed me with in my life. I count them each and every day that this is the life I have been able to live. These are the quiet moments when I am rewarded with the fruits and harvest of the seeds I have planted. These are the moments that make all the frozen water tubs, muddy horses, feeding in the frozen rain not quite so bad. Don't get me wrong.. I still detest winter. I still grumble while I am dragging my butt out of a warm bed to go in the freezing rain or sleet to feed these beautiful majestic creatures that have stolen my heart.
It is all of those collective moments. When there is a reprieve in the cold winter rain, when I can look out over my farm and the frozen ground, when I am listening to my horses munching hay contently in their stalls out of the winter weather, this is when winter isn't quite so bad. God gives me those little moments. The reprieve from the storm, time for me to decompress and thank him again for the blessings in my life. The life that cannot always be sunshine and roses.
You can't truly appreciate the greenery of new life in the spring unless you have experienced the harsh frozen land that winter brings. You can't truly appreciate the warm longer summer days unless you experience the shorter darker colder days of the winter. As a horse lover you can't truly appreciate the slick glossy coats of these majestic creatures unless you have survived the winter mud and the shedding season of spring. It all comes full circle. Another circle of the seasons. Another year of living my dream and my passion. Do I expect everyone to understand? Certainly not! The reality is only the hardiest of passionate horse people will GET why I do what I do year in and year out. I have lived this life PURPOSELY since I was 13 years old. At 42 I am not about to give it up now. :)
The best I can offer my comrades in this crazy passion of ours is December 21 is the shortest day of the year and then the days get longer... minutes at a time but they get longer. To those of you who think I am 10 kinds of crazy for living this life.... It is ok I get it my advise to you, come see me in the spring. ;)
Today was one of those moments. Sitting on my porch in my quilted zip up mechanic suit, complete with thermals, winter socks, muck boots, my -40 gloves (which by the way ARE NOT) and my cool new little kerrits winter knit hat that Don says makes my head look like an acorn, boom inspiration hits. There was a reprieve in the rain, I look over the farm and notice the silence. The silence of the horses quietly munching hay in their stalls, the dogs curled up in their igloo kennel bed inside the barn. The cats are curled up in the hay. This is one of those rare moments when there are no people around. No boarders, lesson students, or trail riders. This is wintertime on the Jumping H. The quiet season. It is the season when the cold comes. When only the hardiest of riders come to spend time with their horses. When riding means grooming through caked dirt of the fuzzy winter coat just to remember what color your horse really is. The slugging out through the wet and the cold, feeding morning and evening in the dark. Waiting for that break in the weather when the ground isn't frozen solid to get in a 30 minute ride before hands and feet go numb just because you have a day of sunshine. Wintertime when you have to drain every water hose EVERY time because in NC it can be 65 degrees at noon and 25 degrees by 5 o'clock. Frozen water hoses suck. Wintertime when those fair weather horse lovers don't come to visit. This is the time that I reflect. I admit this is not my favorite season, in fact it is my least favorite. I would even go so far as to say I detest winter. I don't like being cold, the cold rain, the ice, snow or the mud. Especially the mud. Mud gets caked in places on a horse that you never thought possible.
It is in this season, Wintertime, the toughest season of horse ownership that separates those whose HOBBY is owning a horse and those whose PASSION is owning a horse. I admit I grumble and complain about the cold and wet and muck, but the reality is, I CHOSE THIS LIFE. I LOVE IT, even in the wintertime. You know why, because I am living the life I have always wanted. The life I have always wanted for my children.
Wintertime gives way to spring. Spring means that the grass renews itself. The leaves on the trees begin budding. The mornings are still freezing but by noon you have shed your coat. You get just a little more ride time between spring rains. Those rains don't suck quite so bad because they are warm. It is thawing time. Now don't get me wrong there is still mud... OH IS THERE MUD!!!! Not only is there mud but there is shedding season. For those non-horse people that means you goto the barn, still in your muck boots but you start out clean, you then leave not only with a fine sheen of mud dust but also enough horse hair to weave a sweater or 10. You spend the majority of your time grooming, a little of your time riding, to spend more time grooming. The up side is you are outside and you are not freezing. You are at the barn and not freezing. You are getting to ride your horse and not freezing. You can water your horse and the hose not be frozen. You can ride your horse and the ground is not frozen, muddy but not frozen. You are only wearing two layers of clothes instead of ten. Spring is the light at the end of a long cold, wet when it is not frozen, dark tunnel. This time of year is hit and miss for those fair weather "Hobby" Horse people. In the Spring time of the year there is almost as much work involved in up-keeping horses as wintertime without freezing to death.
Late spring into summer though the hustle and bustle of the farm starts in full swing. People come out of the wood work like bears out of their caves after a long winter hibernation. I admit I am out at the barn every waking moment I can be outside. My domestic duties towards my house go out the window and are relegated to those rainy days when I can't or don't want to be outside. The horses have shed 90% of their winter coats giving way to shiny glossy dapples. They are getting slick and sassy. We ride, ride, and more riding. There is almost always someone at the barn. Hobby and Passionate horse people alike converge to be with our four legged partners in crime. All through the summer and fall people come and go on the Jumping H. Lesson students, trail riders, boarders and anyone else who gets the notion they might want to ride a horse. This is the "busy season," but that's ok because you have plenty of help putting up hay completing barn chores or whatever other project you can dream up. From morning to evening there is always something happening on the Jumping H. The only quiet time you will find this time of year is the early morning hours. When the sun is just peaking up over the horizon. These are the times when I grab my cup of coffee after morning feeding chores and just bask in the beauty of what God has blessed me with in my life. I count them each and every day that this is the life I have been able to live. These are the quiet moments when I am rewarded with the fruits and harvest of the seeds I have planted. These are the moments that make all the frozen water tubs, muddy horses, feeding in the frozen rain not quite so bad. Don't get me wrong.. I still detest winter. I still grumble while I am dragging my butt out of a warm bed to go in the freezing rain or sleet to feed these beautiful majestic creatures that have stolen my heart.
It is all of those collective moments. When there is a reprieve in the cold winter rain, when I can look out over my farm and the frozen ground, when I am listening to my horses munching hay contently in their stalls out of the winter weather, this is when winter isn't quite so bad. God gives me those little moments. The reprieve from the storm, time for me to decompress and thank him again for the blessings in my life. The life that cannot always be sunshine and roses.
You can't truly appreciate the greenery of new life in the spring unless you have experienced the harsh frozen land that winter brings. You can't truly appreciate the warm longer summer days unless you experience the shorter darker colder days of the winter. As a horse lover you can't truly appreciate the slick glossy coats of these majestic creatures unless you have survived the winter mud and the shedding season of spring. It all comes full circle. Another circle of the seasons. Another year of living my dream and my passion. Do I expect everyone to understand? Certainly not! The reality is only the hardiest of passionate horse people will GET why I do what I do year in and year out. I have lived this life PURPOSELY since I was 13 years old. At 42 I am not about to give it up now. :)
The best I can offer my comrades in this crazy passion of ours is December 21 is the shortest day of the year and then the days get longer... minutes at a time but they get longer. To those of you who think I am 10 kinds of crazy for living this life.... It is ok I get it my advise to you, come see me in the spring. ;)
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
IT'S BEEN STOLEN..... in search of my missing JOY
Just wow.... For those of you close to me, you know it has been a tough few weeks. I have rarely posted things, responded or other wise engaged with the outside world unless forced. I tend to withdraw into myself during these times. It gives me time to reflect and regroup, well and to be honest about it, not drag anyone else into my cesspool of doom. I detest winter with a passion. I detest getting up in the dark and coming home from work in the dark. As I get older the cold affects me more. When I just physically can't be outside with the ponies except to care for their needs I get VERY cranky. They are my outlet, my sanity. Did I mention the rain, the cold miserable rain and the mud it creates.... Well I detest that too.
I haven't been able to even get into the Spirit of Christmas in which it was intended. I had so looked forward to this year. We have found a Church we love and do tons of Christmas activities, however I just couldn't be around anybody except a select few. Even those people, who kind of have to love me didn't want to be around me. There was a very short list of people I even wanted to talk to, which is unusual for me.
I have done quite a bit of praying, more so than usual over the last few weeks, yesterday was my turning point. God and I had a very candid conversation in the car yesterday. (We have quite a few of those actually). I felt the need to tell him as if he didn't already know, that I was at my breaking point. I needed his light, I had been in the dark long enough. My flesh is weak and my mind was very weary so very weary. I know he had a plan and I am sure that this was all part of it, but I was having a hard time bringing myself out of this funk. I was ready to crawl under the covers and not come out until spring. ( I am convinced I was supposed to be born a bear).
After my very candid conversation ( I did all the talking). I get a text. "Called you. Are you Ok?" my daily brother call. So I called him back and unloaded my tale of loathing; the weather, cold, and yes even the lack of Christmas Spirit. In typical brotherly fashion his response was, "If I can hold on for better days so can you. Don't let the devil win don't let him steal your joy. That is my peptalk for today, now I am off to pressure wash. Love you bye." Well DAMN when you put it like that and well.....if you can go pressure wash in 40 degree weather after 3 solid days of rain and be happy, I guess I could try a little harder, hold on a little longer. After that 3 minute conversation the day was a little brighter. Later that evening as we usually do Genna and I went to Mom's to setup and decorate the tree. It ended up Don and both of my brothers were there. We all sat in the den and talked as a family, listened to Christmas Music, while Genna put the finishing touches on the Christmas tree. As I drove home last night a sense of peace washed over me. It was all going to be just fine stress and all. My JOY had not been stolen after all just misplaced for a bit.
This morning I felt very different... I woke up with a renewed sense of Hope, Joy and Light. I stole a few minutes this morning just to thank God for my blessings and for listening to me yesterday. I wrote a few lines in my journal and when I checked my email this is the passage that was in my Daily Bible Reading. Just Wow.... how well did this hit home.
Well didn't those verses just hit the nail on the head of how I have been feeling. I know that this season to shall pass .... figuratively and literally. The stress of winter will give light to the birth of spring, but I can't let it steal the JOY of now, this season. A season of the birth of Jesus, a season of giving, a season of fellowship, a season of the true meaning of this blessed month. LOVE, HOPE, JOY, and FAMILY. I hope all of you reading this have a very Merry CHRISTmas. If you don't celebrate Christmas that is fine too. I hope you enjoy whatever holiday this is for you. I hope you celebrate the true meaning of the season. LOVE to ALL
I haven't been able to even get into the Spirit of Christmas in which it was intended. I had so looked forward to this year. We have found a Church we love and do tons of Christmas activities, however I just couldn't be around anybody except a select few. Even those people, who kind of have to love me didn't want to be around me. There was a very short list of people I even wanted to talk to, which is unusual for me.
I have done quite a bit of praying, more so than usual over the last few weeks, yesterday was my turning point. God and I had a very candid conversation in the car yesterday. (We have quite a few of those actually). I felt the need to tell him as if he didn't already know, that I was at my breaking point. I needed his light, I had been in the dark long enough. My flesh is weak and my mind was very weary so very weary. I know he had a plan and I am sure that this was all part of it, but I was having a hard time bringing myself out of this funk. I was ready to crawl under the covers and not come out until spring. ( I am convinced I was supposed to be born a bear).
After my very candid conversation ( I did all the talking). I get a text. "Called you. Are you Ok?" my daily brother call. So I called him back and unloaded my tale of loathing; the weather, cold, and yes even the lack of Christmas Spirit. In typical brotherly fashion his response was, "If I can hold on for better days so can you. Don't let the devil win don't let him steal your joy. That is my peptalk for today, now I am off to pressure wash. Love you bye." Well DAMN when you put it like that and well.....if you can go pressure wash in 40 degree weather after 3 solid days of rain and be happy, I guess I could try a little harder, hold on a little longer. After that 3 minute conversation the day was a little brighter. Later that evening as we usually do Genna and I went to Mom's to setup and decorate the tree. It ended up Don and both of my brothers were there. We all sat in the den and talked as a family, listened to Christmas Music, while Genna put the finishing touches on the Christmas tree. As I drove home last night a sense of peace washed over me. It was all going to be just fine stress and all. My JOY had not been stolen after all just misplaced for a bit.
This morning I felt very different... I woke up with a renewed sense of Hope, Joy and Light. I stole a few minutes this morning just to thank God for my blessings and for listening to me yesterday. I wrote a few lines in my journal and when I checked my email this is the passage that was in my Daily Bible Reading. Just Wow.... how well did this hit home.
The Armor of God
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12 For
our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers,
against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and
against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore
put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you
may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to
stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And
pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and
requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all
the saints. 19 Pray also for me,
that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will
fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.Well didn't those verses just hit the nail on the head of how I have been feeling. I know that this season to shall pass .... figuratively and literally. The stress of winter will give light to the birth of spring, but I can't let it steal the JOY of now, this season. A season of the birth of Jesus, a season of giving, a season of fellowship, a season of the true meaning of this blessed month. LOVE, HOPE, JOY, and FAMILY. I hope all of you reading this have a very Merry CHRISTmas. If you don't celebrate Christmas that is fine too. I hope you enjoy whatever holiday this is for you. I hope you celebrate the true meaning of the season. LOVE to ALL
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