Thursday, March 28, 2013

The Things I've Learned and the People that Misunderstand

Dear God,

It has been an amazing week leading up to Easter and the Resurrection of Jesus. I admit while on the surface I knew the meaning of the Easter Holiday (and I am not talking about the bunny and Easter eggs) I had never LEARNED everything leading up to and the TRUE significance of what the Resurrection of Jesus all meant. Under no circumstances would I get an A if I was suddenly given a quiz but I am learning more everyday and it gives me TRUE HOPE and JOY for my future. I have finally found a place to worship you and praise you to bask in the nearness of your LOVE. I have praised you and prayed to you like never before. I have felt your presence in my life and seen your work all around me. I have met people who Truly LOVE YOU and LIVE WHOLLY (I meant to spell it that way) in your GLORY. They don't preach you they teach you and what it means to follow you and how it will change me. They encourage people from every walk of life and demographic to learn about love and tolerance and seeding hope for others to follow you and live through you. Not just to pray but to fully take action and make a difference in this world and the community.

I have seen a young woman lose her baby at just a few days old. Cling to her grief that only someone has lost a child could possibly understand. Ask you why, and I am sure she had her moments of anger and how could yous, decide to give that grief to you as I watched her family rally around her and prayers from friends and family even complete strangers. I have watched the transition in my own daughter as we read and study the Bible. Sometimes from verses and teachings from Church and other times reading from one book or another. Already a loving child she is truly learning what it means to be a Christian but more importantly what Christian doesn't mean.

It is not lip service, it is a way of life. Putting the needs of others in front of your own. Knowing when you are blessed and when to ask for those blessings. In the simplest of terms it is LOVE. It is making a difference for the sake of the greater good and not just for personal gain or accolades. It is helping someone without expectations of anything in return. It is standing up for what is right and for people who can't stand up for themselves. Not waiting for a handout but working when you are able and giving thanks and praise to OUR BLESSED GOD everyday for putting us on this earth to do your work.

I have learned your Glory is greater than I could ever imagine here on earth not just after I am standing at the gates waiting for entrance. There is no shame in asking for your guidance and wanting and longing for the WILL you have for my life. Learning that you will never set me up to fail if I believe in your faith and love and follow the path you have planned for me. I have always thought I led a God centered life, and while I have lived in the outskirts of your shadow I have found out there is so much I am missing.  The more I learn the more I long to learn about you.

The funny thing is I have also learned what my greatest opposition in learning about you will be.... (and I paraphrase)  "Not from the people who don't know Christ but from the people who THINK they know Christ." These are the people who will criticize me the most the ones who have led the Church life will come and dust off their Bible just for me so they can tell me I am wrong.  I have found this to be true.

Learning about you doesn't come from the rows in my church it comes from the circle of people within that Church who have surrounded me with their love for you and their willingness to answer my endless questions and pray with me and for me. People who don't judge you by your shoes, handbag, or your car in their parking lot. People who truly Praise you for your ultimate Glory and Love.

It amazes me still in my infancy of getting to know you how stressful my day can be or how bad I can feel and to be in your presence in your Holy Sanctuary just to be still in YOU. Being with the I AM brings me peace and gives me center. I never thought I would be one to be so vocal about you God. I have always praised you quietly so as to not ruffle feathers. You know what?? This isn't about anyone else but you and my relationship with you. I will never force feed your Glory or Love down someones throat but I will speak my feelings and praise you God. For all you have done in my life, for the blessings I have received, for the people you have put in my path so that I would ask for your ultimate blessings to come into my heart and soul. That your Spirit directs me on the path to your Will for my life.

Dear Lord thank you for the Ultimate Blessings in my life. Thank you Lord for all that you have provided for me. Thank you for listening to the prayers of others so that you could heal me exponentially better than even the surgeon himself thought possible. Thank you God for the love of my friends and family and what you do for them everyday. I pray Lord that you place a Hedge of Protection and Love around them and Lord I especially pray for those who have yet to experience the Ultimate Glory of the Almighty I AM. That in this season of the Resurrection of Jesus our sins are forgiven because he died on the cross for us and by your Grace as our God we are reborn.  In Jesus name I pray AMEN.

Friday, March 22, 2013

To be Still in YOUR Presence

Dear God,

I am truly beginning to understand the meaning of " To be still in YOUR Presence". I honestly have to say that I wasn't sure I got it before but you being the I AM have a plan and that I do understand. As you know my week has been full of test, trials and joys. Some of them so mind blowing it is hard to grasp the reality of what was truly happening. Trickling in a bit at a time and then BAMMM all at once the flood gates opened up. I am not even going to call them hardships it is just life that happens, but in the midst of it all four of my best friends in the world contacted me out of the blue. One to grab breakfast and catch up on life, the other to check and see how I was from 5 states away, the third to tempt me into lunch (which I missed but the thought was there all the same), and the fourth to send me a text saying she loved me. I know this was not by accident, those were brilliant blessings that helped me to handle the miriad of lifes little moments that all snowballed at once.

 I speak to you often throughout the day and in some respects I always have. Never before have I picked up the Bible to study the books within or even understood the meaning of the verses. In the last couple of months I am learning what it means to be in your presence, not still in your presence mind you but just in your presence. To be still is another level I have been aspiring too. Our Sanctuary at Church has been open each day this week from 6-8 so people can come and be in your presence. I will admit I longed to participate however right or wrong life prevented me from doing so. Instead I took bits of time during lunch to listen and learn from previous sermons. Rereading notes hoping to find the clarity I need to get through the week. Yesterday I had my chance. Taking time for myself and ultimately for you, trying to capture the stillness so many others talk about.   I FOUND IT. 

To be the only one in Sanctuary the murmers of voices outside the Sanctuary doors but to truly be able to read the verses that spoke to me the most during this time. The peace and the love that coursed through my heart and soul was wonderful even for those 30 minutes before the stillness was broken by life and others wanting the same thing I was able to experience it truly for the first time in your house and for this I am grateful. It has taken me 42 years to find a house of yours where I truly feel at home. I find I crave your presence and to live Boldly in my Faith. I welcome anyone who wishes to listen and join me however for me this is personal. I want to lead by example and not by lip service. I want my daughter to feel for you what I feel and I want those who don't believe in the LOVE POWER and GLORY you possess to know they can feel it too. Not by radical preaching, fire and brimstone, or by judgement, but because the LOVE of your presence is becoming so deeply engrained in my heart that I feel, no I KNOW that you have great things in store for my life and theirs.

To be still in your presence.....ADORATION

To concentrate ever energy, to focus intently, to desire fully and wholly to dwell in thought of him. To hunger for his ultimate presence for the sake of his presence alone. Time stands still in his deepest presence we become unaware of the clock or calendar because we are engaging eternity....  ~Bishop Paul Lanier

Thank you for my blessings, hardships, and the people in my life who love me despite my faults. Grant me the patience needed to bask in the glory of your perfect timing in the will you have for my life.  In Jesus name I pray AMEN. 

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Giving it back to you....

Dear God,

Sometimes I just have to be reminded that it is not all up to me, but I am learning. It's a slow process sometimes teaching me. You are  the all knowing and I am here playing a guessing game. I am willing and do trust in you to direct your will for my life, however sometimes subtle hints don't work for me. I am more into Glaring NEON that says " Hey Stupid this WAY" . I know I know you don't work that way but occasionally I do get it without you hitting me on the head. I have been paying more attention. Studying the guide book and well learning what the guide book is saying and no longer holding " a loaded pistol without be taught how to use it." Bishops words not mine... 
 I am aware of the amazing blessings you have given me and the incredible people you have placed in my path all to serve the ultimate plan you have for me. I know what I would like the plan to be, I know what my goals and dreams are. Don't worry you are the Center of it all. I PROMISE.

You have done such amazing things through me already that I can in no way shape or form take credit for. However there are other days when I think I am on the path you have chosen and you throw me a curve ball. I have to ask.... I know you have the ultimate plan but do I really have to enjoy each piece of the journey? Realizing it is all part of the big picture, I get it, but WHEW I could do with out them sometimes. I am not overly worried just weary and tired.

Tonight I believe I will pray for a hedge of love and protection to be wrapped in your loving embrace. To give me the direction I need to fully live a God Centered life and let you continue to guide me gently, or not so gently when I resist to the Will you have chosen for my life. I pray that I can teach my child by example and not because I said so. I pray that you give me the strength to complete the tasks and challenges set before me. With that being said I am tired of this particular burden this evening.  I am Giving it back to you. 

"God's perfect timing" I have heard that phrase more than once from more than one source.. strangly they have never met, so I am only to glean from this that you want to make sure "I GET IT". Check it off the list, sometimes I just need the reminder.

I AM who you want me to be... well I am working on it. If I keep saying it and living it then it will be true. :)

In Jesus name I pray..... Amen